


the color of desire

by bi_lovely



Series: red & black [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Getting Together, Language, M/M, it's pretty cute tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 19:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10973949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_lovely/pseuds/bi_lovely
Summary: “Enjolras,” he said slowly, voice cracking, “you have to be very sure of what you’re doing. Because if this is some horrible joke, or if you change your mind, I don’t think my heart can take it.”





	the color of desire

**Author's Note:**

> still telling myself i'm going to write klaine, still posting angsty exr instead

It had been several months since Grantaire’s walk home in the pouring rain that he could only that to describe as  _ emo.  _ He’d had his car patched up, he wasn’t going out of his way to talk to Enjolras, he wasn’t going out of his way to  _ not  _ talk to Enjolras — he was  _ moving on! _

 

Okay, sure, he’d still stare longingly at the blond as he stood on tables shouting fiery speeches that were so eloquent they could only be described as poetry and he still dreamt about him most nights and he still  _ wanted him  _ desperately, but he was accepting the fact that it just wasn’t a possibility for him and Enjolras to be together — albeit slowly. 

 

Enjolras was ending the l’ABC meeting the same way he ended all of them — with that  _ song.  _ But Grantaire didn’t care — of course, he actually  _ did,  _ but he told himself that he didn’t and he did his very best to convince himself it was true. 

 

Soon he was walking out to his car. It was raining — not quite as bad as it had been  _ that night,  _ but still, a sick sort of feeling was settling in his stomach as he got into the car, turned his key, and —

 

“ _ Fuck. _ ”

 

Déjà vu.

 

Well, he supposed that was what he got for trusting a shady repairman just so he could get his car fixed cheap — not that he could have afforded it if he went to a trustworthy mechanic, and then he would have been without a car altogether. At least it had lasted him a while. 

 

Grantaire looked out at the rain and shook his head because no, absolutely not, he  _ not  _ walking home in  _ that  _ again. He got out, slammed the door as he had a few months ago, but instead of heading in the direction of his apartment he headed back into the Musain. He sat down at a table by the window and began to wait for the rain to stop. 

 

“Grantaire?”

 

He looked up. 

 

_ Enjolras. Right.  _

 

“Everything okay?” Enjolras frowned. 

 

“Er — not exactly,” Grantaire admitted. “My car’s not starting and I don’t live that far away but — you know — rain.”

 

“Ah, yes.” Enjolras nodded. “That sucks. I’m sorry.” He frowned. “Would you like a ride? I’ve got a few things to finish up here so I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a little while, but I’d be happy to drive you.”

 

“I — you really don’t have to,” Grantaire said. “It’s really no trouble. I’ll just wait out the rain.”

 

“You can’t know how long it’ll rain for,” Enjolras said. “I insist.”

 

“Well — I —”

 

_ What’s the big deal? You’re moving on, remember? _

 

“I mean, if you insist.” Grantaire forced a smile onto his face. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem,” Enjolras replied before returning to the papers before him. 

 

A thick silence that you could practically cut into fell over the room. Grantaire wondered if Enjolras felt it too, heavy and agonizing. He highly doubted it, but Grantaire himself could hardly breath.

 

“You can talk, you know,” Enjolras broke the silence at least.

 

“You’re working,” Grantaire said simply. 

 

Enjolras glanced up at him with a tiny smirk. “I can multitask.” 

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Grantaire.”

 

“Enjolras.”

 

“Why won’t you talk to me?” 

 

Grantaire looked to him but didn’t say anything. 

 

“Why’ve you barely spoken to me in months?”

 

“Don’t.” Grantaire shook his head. “Please, don’t. Don’t play this game with me, Enjolras, I am begging you.”

 

“Don’t what?” Enjolras tilted his head. His pen was lying on the table now, and his work was forgotten. 

 

Grantaire glared. “I thought you might have known all this time, and I knew you wouldn’t like it. But  _ Jesus,  _ I never thought you’d taunt me over it.”

 

“Grantaire.”

 

“It’s  _ cruel,  _ Enjolras.”

 

“ _ Grantaire. _ ”

 

“What?” Grantaire said bitterly, turning to stare out the window. 

 

“What on  _ earth  _ are you talking about?” Enjolras’ brow was furrowed. 

 

Grantaire looked at him, eyebrows lowered. “You — you know. You’re making fun of me. Aren’t you?”

 

Enjolras shook his head. “Grantaire, I have no idea what you’re talking about. All I know is that these past few months you’ve been — you’ve been  _ distant. _ ”

 

“It’s not like you ever had any interest in me,” Grantaire said. “So what difference does it make?”

 

Enjolras snorted. “Oh,  _ please. _ ”

 

Grantaire stared at him, eyebrows raised. “What?”

 

“You really don’t know?” Enjolras asked. “I thought it was obvious. Everyone else has figured it out. They’ve all been  _ berating  _ me forever to tell you how I feel about you.”

 

“How you — feel?” Grantaire’s mouth was very,  _ very  _ dry now. “About — about me?”

 

“Yeah,” Enjolras sighed. He dropped his gaze, unable to keep looking Grantaire in the eye. 

 

“How  _ do _ you feel about me?” 

 

Grantaire was close to tears. His heart was beating so fast you might have thought he’d just run a marathon. 

 

Time seemed to stretch on and on forever before Enjolras finally replied, “I’ve loved you since the day I met you.” He was staring down at his hands. “I thought it was — but it doesn’t matter. Never mind. I should get you home, I’m —” 

 

“And everyone knows this?” Grantaire cut him off. “Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Joly, Jehan?”

 

“Marius, Cosette, Musichetta, Bossuet, Bahorel.” Enjolras nodded slowly. Cautiously, he looked back up at Grantaire. “Everyone. I could go on for hours. I really did think you knew, Grantaire, I’m sorry.”

 

“All of those people,” Grantaire said slowly, “and none of them thought to mention that I’ve been distant for months because I love you so much — have loved you for so long — that it just hurt too much to be around you anymore than I had to be? Because I thought you could never  _ ever  _ love me back?”

 

Enjolras was silent for a long while, staring into Grantaire’s eyes, searching them. “Those bastards,” he whispered at last. 

 

Then Enjolras got to his feet. He crossed the room slowly, walking right up to Grantaire and looking down at him. 

 

_ He really is like a god,  _ Grantaire thought to himself as he stared up at Enjolras, blond curls falling majestically into his face.  _ He really is Apollo.  _

 

Enjolras reached out to touch Grantaire’s cheek and Grantaire was ready, he was so ready for this to finally happen, he was  _ sure of it  _ — but then he caught Enjolras by the wrist and stopped his hand and — and  _ fuck,  _ he was  _ crying.  _

 

“Grantaire?” Enjolras raised one eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

 

“What are you doing?” was Grantaire’s blunt response.

 

“I was going to kiss you, if that’s alright,” Enjolras told him. “I’ve waited far too long for this.”

 

Grantaire looked up at him, tried to steady his breathing, tried to stop the tears from falling. 

 

“Enjolras,” he said slowly, voice cracking, “you have to be very sure of what you’re doing. Because if this is some horrible joke, or if you change your mind, I don’t think my heart can take it.”

 

Enjolras didn’t say a word. Instead, he leaned closer and captured Grantaire’s lips in a bruising kiss. 

 

“Holy shit,” Grantaire gasped into Enjolras’ mouth. Grantaire held onto the back of his head, pulled him closer, as close as he could get him. Grantaire kissed him harder and Enjolras responded in kind, licking into his mouth, carding his fingers through Grantaire’s dark curls. 

 

Grantaire leaned back in his chair, staring up at Enjolras while he tried to catch his breath. 

 

“That was — wow,” Enjolras said. “I — I’m not crazy, right?” he stammered. “That was, like — oh my god — an insanely good kiss — right? I mean it was like — it was — um — it was —”

 

Grantaire smiled. “I think I like it when you can’t find the right words. It’s certainly a change, but it suits you.”

 

Enjolras grinned. 

 

“You’re going to take me home now.” Grantaire stood suddenly and wrapped his arms around Enjolras’ neck. “And by that I mean, you’re going to come home with me now.”

 

“Oh?” Enjolras raised one eyebrow. 

 

Grantaire beamed. “Come on. I’ve waited long enough for this night.”

 

“Grantaire?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I love you.”

  
Grantaire’s grin only grew wider because  _ fuck,  _ if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard then he didn’t know what was.


End file.
